My friend wants sex, his girfriend of 1 month does not. What do I advise him to do?

Posted on July 11th, 2011 by turmoiltotranq

Dear Therapist Within:

I have a friend that has been dating a girl for about a month, she says that she is not ready for a relationship because she confused about her feelings.The issue is that there are other women that are interested in him sexually and he doesn’t want to feel guilty about cheating on the girl he is dating even though she has made it clear that she is unaware of her feelings and what is going to happen. What should I tell him? And is he not wrong for being with other women even though he cares about her but there is no relationship?

ANSWER: One month???? You have got to be kidding. No relationship? There is a relationship, it just doesn’t include sex. Yet. Thank goodness! Your friend is clearly too immature to have sex with a woman. For the time being, he ought to restrict his sexual relationship to that which he can have with himself.

Seriously. You were asking me this question seriously? I will answer seriously. Honesty is always the best policy in matters such as this. He ought to tell this young lady exactly what he is thinking – that if she isn’t going to put out he will find someone who will. Hopefully, if she is a person of quality, that will open her eyes wide enough to tell him she is no longer confused about her feelings – she feels absolutely nothing for him and never will. If your friend is the kind of person who is more interested in getting into her pants than finding out about this girl, treating her and her doubts with respect and giving her the space she needs, he will be no great catch for her.

Frankly, I hope she tells him to get lost!! That should give him room to go find someone who doesn’t care about herself or about the character of the person she gets involved with

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