I am too stressed!!! HELP!
Dear Therapist Within:
I often have more stress than I can handle and I take it out on my boyfriend. I try really hard not to but sometimes it just overwhelms me. I really can’t seem to control my stress. I can’t get over the feeling of so much to do. I beat myself up over and over again. I get in a rut and as much as I try to get my head above water, I just sink deeper. I would like to know how to better control my stress.
ANSWER: I want to divide this answer into two parts. First, how you express your stress and frustration, and second, how to de-stress.
Part 1 – how you express your stress. You need to make a decision here and now to stop taking out your stress on other people who are not responsible for it. That means stop yelling, blaming, accusing. What you can do is talk to your boyfriend about how stressed you feel and how you are struggling to change how you express yourself. You can have a good cry, exercise, take a hot bath, browse in the library, play relaxing music, watch a comedy on TV, whatever will help you de-compress.
Part 2 – reduce your stress. You need to take a good look at your life and the pressures and frustrations you face. How can you reduce them? Do you need to call on other people to help you more? Do you need more help around the house? Do you need to reduce your work or school load? Sit down with someone you respect and trust and someone you know who cares about you to look at your schedule and how you might be able to create a less stressful environment. If you cannot change your circumstances (sometimes we can’t), look at how long your present circumstances are likely to last. Plan something very peaceful and relaxing – something major to look forward to – a reward for having weathered the tough times and getting to a more serene place one piece. In the meantime, give yourself little rewards as you get through each week. Know that this too will pass and a more fulfilling life is ahead.
Filed under: Chronic Anxiety, Life Crises, Medical, Severe Anxiety, Severe Panic Attacks, The Emotional Brain, Uncategorized
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