Why does my father favor my sister?
Dear Therapist Within:
For years now, my dad has showed favortism to one of my younger sisters. In high school, I was involved in many activities such as student government, yearbook staff, dance, soccer manager and had a dancing role in one of the spring musicals. When the musical arrived, my dad had shown up but for only one of the four nights the show was playing. Two years later, my sister was involved in her class’s spring musical for the next three years. He went above and beyond to show his support. He invited family from out of town, took everyone to dinner prior, saw the show at least three out of the four nights, donated a lot of money and food, etc. His actions bothered me. Why did he show more support to my sister than me? Also, around the house I was expected to do more cleaning while he kept making excuses for my sister when she never helped. When she was 16, she was secretly having her boyfriend spend the night, who was 18. I had my boyfriend in my room one night to watch a movie. My older sister and I had told our dad about my younger sister’s boyfriend sleeping over and he said “he’d talk to her” about it. When it came up in a family meeting, she told my dad that she would see my boyfriend in my room “all the time.” My dad got angry with me and said if he found out my boyfriend was in my room again I’d have to “pay a fine.” As far as my sister goes, he’d “talk about her punishment with her.” Similar incidents have happened even years later. Anytime I’ve asked my dad why he favors her more than any of us kids, and he never has a real answer and seems to deny it or avoid the subject. Parents are not supposed to favor one over the other when it comes to their kids. What are some possible explanations for his favortism?
ANSWER: There are a number of reasons I can think of (and I might talk to my mother about it if I were you). But the simplest is usually the most accurate: aome parents are idiots. I guess the only lesson you can learn from this is that much of the time in life, other people’s behavior has nothing to do with you. Some people are just idiots. I am sorry that you have one of them.
Filed under: Abusive Relationships, Disfunctional Relationships, Uncategorized
I’m going through the same problem with my dad. He treats me as if I’m not his daughter. My younger sister (13) looks very much like him and he adores her. I don’t know if its because she looks like him and because i look like my mom. He is always asking me why i cant be like her. To him I’m the ungrateful child who only cares for herself. I have actually never had the guts to ask him why he treats me like I’m no better than my sister because I know i will choke on the words and i will start crying for holding all this in for so many years.
my dad treats my sibilings a whole lot different then me. Like for my birthday my sister had gotten a cake that was three tiers and like twenty presents. For my birthday i didnt get a cake i got a box of oreos. I wish that i had a dad that would treat us equal and not seperate and my sister is 11 and she has a ipod touch and she had gotten it from my dad and i wanted one but nope my dad is complaining because they dont like me. I also heard in my dad’s room and he was talking to Kay (stepmom) and he said to her that he wished that i were never born… WHAT DO I DO???
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I know what u r going through. My entire life my older sister has been the perfect one and my dad treats me like I am not even his kid.
he always holds things against me, even untrue things. For ex. I borrowed some money (which she constantly does!) and I pay him back. He accuses me of never paying him back and refuses to help me because of it. Yet her bills r paid monthly and she is even on his bank account! He has bought her two houses yet would not help me when I was struggling to find a place to live. In addition he never calls but constantly keeps in contact with her. Man there is just so much he has done to hurt me. I would b typing for hours if I told u it all! All I can say is that some parents don’t realize what they got right at their disposal. They r too consumed with money or with themselves to realize it. It’s really a shame cuz I am a wonderful person. I care about my dad, yet my sister calls him fat and is very rude to him. She can say things to hurt him but if I told him that he would disown me! He constantly cares for her by taking out her garbage and cleans her house. Yet she has a husband.
I don’t get it, but I know how it hurts. I have written letters but he denies it and says I am just jealous of her. Nope I am hurt big difference. All u can do is b patient and hope he comes around. U r a wonderful person and its too damn bad he can’t c that. But remember it’s his loss. Hopefully he changes! If not just b who u r and know u did your best! Good luck!
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I also have the same problem. My sister is constantly getting what she wants,she is 12 and she has an iPhone 5!! I have a flip phone,my dad sais it’s because he can’t pay for another smart phone,but I’m older,so I should get the iPhone,also for her birthday she got uggs and 200$, I got a used picture frame.my sister constantly goes to the mall with my friends and I never get to and my dad says to clean up her messes and I say that they are hers but my dad says that she is at the mall so she can’t do it also, when she steels my makeup my dad says its ok, although its like a 16 dollar tube of mascara,and when I use her 2 dollar lip gloss and then put it back,I have to pay her 20 dollars , I tell my dad that I feel like I get less than her and it herts my feelings but he says I’m full of drama and a spoiled brat,I don’t know what to do
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